Love and Sex

‘The first thing a man thinks when he sees a lady is; wow, I want to hit that and that’s it, if he falls in love along the line that’s a different thing’. Marymag was point-blank about her argument without being vulgar, she sounded so convinced about it that it pissed Steve off so much. She watched him from the corner of her eyes; he was exhausted from defending his gender before two very brilliant and equally beautiful ladies (that is leaving out the anchor though it’s obvious where her loyalty lies). She was enjoying this very much. On Steve’s left was Maureen or Mau, she was enjoying this too, in a completely different kind of way. Marymag could tell this from the edge in her voice when she talked.

Steve was stunned, his argument had been invalidated. He was outnumbered, outwitted (Marymag), out-voiced and even slandered (Mau) but he was enjoying himself. His enjoyment was in a blue skin-tight jean and a pink top, he was almost ogling her; with his back turned to Mau. ‘I want to hit that’ he thought to himself and a small smile played on his face. All his points for the discussion were already exhausted, he had already played the compatibility card so many times, and he’s even used his past relationships twice to illustrate points.
‘So Steve you're saying that when a man sees a lady, the first thing that comes to him is how to get to know the girl and how to love her’ started Berry, the anchor. Before Steve could get the chance to respond she dropped another one; ‘you're saying if you meet Marymag in a club, you’ll be walking up to her with the intention of just getting to know her and see if you both are compatible?’ Steve had nothing to answer, fortunately for him, someone called into the show.
‘Hello Abdul from Kaduna you’re welcome to the show’ (thank you for calling in) Berry spoke sharply as she answered the phone. Abdul cleared his throat in a calculated way that made Steve feel the cavalry had finally come.
‘Are you still there Abdul, how is Kaduna tonight’
‘Kaduna is fine’
‘Please make your contribution Abdul’
 ‘First I have a question for Marymag. Being a student, are you in a relationship or have you ever been in one? If you have, did you go into the relationship knowing all he wanted was to hit that?’ he cleared his throat again; Steve was beaming at this point.
‘I have some for Mau too’. Mau sat up and leaned toward the phone. ‘Why do you make it a duty to demonize men? And how do you keep up with…’ the line went dead
‘Hello Abdul are you there?’ inquired Berry but there was no response. ‘He's gone; please do call back if you can Abdul.’
‘Well’ started Steve then stopped to clear his throat ‘I would love to get your reactions on the questions Abdul asked,’ he turned to Marymag smiling; ‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of that’ he lied.
Marymag responded almost instantly ‘the ladies being their emotional selves; most of them tend to believe that the men actually fall in love with them at first sight’ she paused as a smirk appeared on Steve's face; the kind of smirk that whispers ‘I know you're evading the real question but continue anyways.’ She was steering the question away from herself. ‘Then’ she continued ‘some believe that the men will fall in love with them eventually.’
Steve's lucky question didn’t get the result he had hoped for, he had wished that Marymag talked about her relationships; if she was in any at the moment or not, just for curiosity. He was going to take out the disappointment on Mau; he was going to enjoy watching her fumble on Abdul’s question. Fortunately for Mau, Berry was not going to allow that on her watch, not tonight.
‘It’s been mind-blowing and largely enlightening so far on today’s edition of the show (Love and Sex)’ Berry began in a soft and enchanting tone just before Steve could get the chance to deal his blow. ‘Right now we’re going to take a commercial break and when we come back we’ll go to our social media platforms to see the comments so far. We’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.’ Steve could barely wait for the commercials to come on before making his dissatisfaction known.  As the three ladies made their way to the powder room, Steve went straight to the mini bar to get a shot of whiskey. He sat there thinking of how to get through to Marymag; he wrote down his number on a piece of paper, he was going to slip it to her.
The three minutes commercial was over about three minutes ago. To Steve's chagrin one of the ladies had been replaced, he ran his hand over his blue jean trouser and felt the piece of paper he had torn out from his pocket diary earlier. He gave Berry a stern look, he didn’t see that coming. Neither did Marymag; Berry was obviously enjoying herself from the twists she's adding to the show. Steve made some question gestures to Berry but didn’t get any reply as the cameraman had already started his five seconds countdown.
‘You're welcome back to the show;’ Berry began with a sly smile. ‘We’re going to be visiting our different social media handles to get your reactions, but before we do, we have a guest in the house’ she paused as the camera focused on Jerome. ‘Jerome is in his penultimate year in the University of Benin studying Sociology.’ Jerome smiled almost as though he was smiling to the cameraman, you could almost see how happy he was to be part of the show.
Jerome is the strange result of a repressive Catholic education and an expansive stand-up comedy ambition, his cheerfulness was contagious, a slick polished looking creature oozing with masculinity, he who could haunt any ladies dreams. Was Mau still here, he would have turned her into a bundle of jangle weeping nerves with just a look.